Monday 30 April 2007
After several insightful and supportive conversations with friends, family and wise counsel regarding personal issues and my challenges with clinical depression, I’ve decided to take a technological approach.
I’m going to debug myself.
Essentially, this means repairing the negative, self-hating thoughts of shame, guilt, and sorrow for pain I have caused others and pain I have caused myself, and learning to forgive myself. Funny how we humans are, eh? I have forgiven all wrongs committed against me, but have been very stubborn to forgive those I committed against myself.
Steps to debugging Molly include: making sure I’m eating and sleeping as regular hours as I can within my lifestyle; avoiding alcohol and caffeine; and learning to gain better work/life balance. I will also commit to doing yoga again each morning, swim more frequently, catch negative thoughts and replace them with celebratory ones, and remove all disrespectful, problematic relationships from my life.
Readers here have long known me to be a very passionate character, with a dark side that has frightened and concerned others, at times. I hope everyone reading knows if my words and my behavior have not always been the best that I’m capable of, I hope you will forgive me too, and know that my heart is in the right place and I am sorry.
One thing I will also work on is to decrease the rumination stuff. That’s a tough one for me. Alas, it’s a symptom of my illness, but I’m being treated and part of that treatment is doing the hard work of becoming a better person.
Thank you all so very, very much for your patience, understanding, support and kindness as I have gone through this very difficult time. I am a very, very fortunate person to have so many caring friends and colleagues. Truly blessed.
To bed with me, to wake to do my session here at MIX and get back to the technology, topics, and people I hold so dear.
Monday 23 April 2007
Anyone going to MIX next week in fabulous Las Vegas? If so, let me know!
Sunday 22 April 2007
Lately, things have been so busy, and so difficult in many ways.
I still believe in my online tribe. Are you with me? Here are my commitments:
- I will not give up.
- I will not stop blogging.
- I made mistakes and I shall steady on.
Are you with me? I need you. Claim your truth in comments below.
Sunday 15 April 2007
The entire web rock star thing has always confused me. Who started that?
Anyroad, since it’s started, we might as well use it for amusement.
Consider that Eric Meyer has been compared to the Neil Young of the Web. And many have suggested that I’m a sure-fire fit for Janis Joplin. Except for Joe Clark, who has made me laugh when he’s quite fairly (I think) referred to me as “Stevie” after Stevie Nicks.
So here’s a challenge: If you are a web rock star or if you know one or want to be one, or, just want to make a (web) rock-star observation, here’s your chance.
Friday 13 April 2007
I’d just like to cheer a writer that had profound influence on my life.
Rest in peace always, Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. You will always be known as a man of genius.
Monday 9 April 2007
I need suggestions for the perfect Web analytics. Google? Mint? I’m starting to lose my grip on really informative, and dare I use two u’s in order: Usable use statistics for Web servers.
Suggestions, anecdotes, questions and general grumblings? Let’s have ’em!
Saturday 7 April 2007
It’s confession time again, and time for a little leverage. I can always put leverage to good use, as gravity seems to delight in having its way with me.
Physics aside, here are three of the stupidist things I’ve ever done online:
- Drunk IMing/Emailing. This is an extension of “drunk n’ dial.” For those unfamiliar, you have had a lot to drink and are probably alone and looking for someone to rant to. So you begin to call, or in this case, IM or Email your friends. You wake up the next day thinking “Oh god, who do I have to apologize to” and scanning your outbox for faux pas and crimes against others. A common stupid activity.
- Sent the WRONG Attachment. To the wrong person. You know, like the sexy video you made your last boyfriend ends up in your boss’s inbox. Oops.
- Wrong Person Conversations. This is when someone IM’s you and you’re sure you know who it is, so you go about having a conversation, perhaps even a complete personal discussion, and then find out the person wasn’t who you thought they were. Oh my.
Okay, your turn!
Wednesday 4 April 2007
Hi folks, I’m collecting links for IE7 bugs that people are documenting as I’d like to stay on top of anything problematic you’re finding related to XML, XHTML, HTML, CSS, i18n, and the DOM.
If you’ve got a good resource, or a specific issue, can you shout it out in comments so I can add it to a comprehensive list?
Monday 2 April 2007
I’ve posted an overview of what we worked on last week at Microsoft main campus in Redmond. I hope you’ll be as excited as I am to see some of the things we’ve got in the plans for the road ahead.
You can visit the post and comment directly, I really look forward to your thoughts!
Filed under: general
Posted by: Molly | 16:23 | Comments Off on Moving Ahead at Microsoft
Sunday 1 April 2007
So I’d been thinking about working through depression and despondency and confusion and right and wrong and all that groovy stuff and realized one of the things I’ve been missing is having a kitty cat. Many readers know I lost my cat of nearly 18 years, Tara, back in August. Add to that a completely crazy schedule and out of focus life, and it just wasn’t time.
I called the Humane Society yesterday and told them about my busy travel schedule and to ask whether that would be fair to bring a young cat into. Their advice, which is actually advice I’d also heard earlier, was to avoid adopting a kitten, but rather looking for a feline friend around 1-4 years old.
After eating breakfast with my brother Linus, who came to town to do some work on his house and our friend Eric (who is now my neighbor) on a bit of a whim I stopped by the Humane Society and went on in. The feline room was filled with cats, but only two got particularly happy upon seeing me. Mike, a little black and white kitten who was adorable and already adopted, and a beautiful red tabby female, around a year old, with golden eyes who got right up in my face and let me know it was not her, but rather I, who was being adopted today.
That took about a minute. Filled out some paperwork, went through the counseling routine, and then I saw the page with her name, which was Honey Bunny! As Pulp Fiction is one of my top most loved films of all time, I just think it was all a wonderful bit of fate. I was told a bit of her history, that she’d been at the humane society once before as a stray, a family came in to adopt her, and gave her back because she wasn’t getting on with their dog! To think this beautiful and very sweet natured cat would have been euthanized and has been in kitty lockup twice makes me so relieved and happy I met her today.
So Honey is now here, being a bit shy and cautious and keeping to herself in between brief sprints of exploration as cats will do when first settling in. I’ll get pictures once she’s more at ease.
And here’s the amazing thing – my house feels like home for the first time in a very long time, back before Tara got sick and to a time when I had health, peace, happiness and joy in my life.
April 1st might be fool’s day for some, but for me n’ Honey over here, well, let me just say here’s to new beginnings.
You knew it was gonna happen. We all did. After Web Directions North and before that, the chilly rain and winds of Iceland, well er, we all know that @media Antartica is our next challenge.
I’m so up for shopping. They say it’s one of the best cheer-ups for a girl done wrong. Oh, I do like to buy stuff. Especially big winter sweaters and clothes that keep me warm. Hey, I’m nearly 50 american pounds less than six months ago. 50! What’s that in stone?
That means from a dress size american 18-20 to a dress size of 10. Nice slimming (I didn’t do a thing, midlife crises might be just what a girl getting ready to go to antartica needs). Except for my top, where I just don’t lose much. I can’t quite help that 😉
I for one am up for planting the flag in some serious hard ice. Oh yes, with a little extra strength let’s plant our tribal flag and make some noise. I’m sure even antartica wants, if not a great Web, at least broadband!