Wednesday 9 November 2005

A Really Bad Day

I KNOW YOU’VE HAD ONE. Where everything goes wrong.

  • You believe that God will protect you and those you love
  • You want with all your heart to do right by people and you fail, badly
  • The person you love doesn’t love you the same way

All I want to do in the face of my unhappiness is drink and please please pass out so maybe I can get some sleep this year.

This is a really bad day. I’m asking you to help, and to keep me alive.

Tell me your bad day. Tell me anything. I am listening.

Filed under:   general
Posted by:   Molly | 00:31 | Comments (60)

Comments (60)

  1. Here’s a good one… last week, I had ankle surgery, which really hurt. This week, I went in to see the doctorr, and they took the dressing off. As it came off, there was green stuff all over the bandages, and it smelled kind of funny. I have an infection!! And then the doctor gave me an antibiotic I’m allergic to. Oh yeah, and I’m stuck on the couch, can’t got to Hawaii with my family, and haven’t showered in 10 days. I’m a stinky, gimpy, tired, infected wretch. But, I think your hair is awesome.

  2. Molly,

    I’m sorry if I disappoint you with this comment, but I’m afraid I won’t share my really bad days. And if I write about the semi-bad days, it will just turn into black humor instead. So I refrain.

    I sent you an e-mail some days ago, referring to the name of a post I wrote pretty recently that really delves into some dark parts of life. Maybe it helps you reading that…

    This aside, I’m sorry you have a bad day, and I truly hope things turn around for you. You deserve it.

  3. Oh, Kevin. I’m in Hawaii now and cannot even see its beauty. You should be here, not me. You’ve taught me so much. I hope you are on the mend, and for your “islands in the stream” analogy for floats, I will always be grateful.

    Even if you do smell funny 😉

    Seriously, green is one of two things: Envy, or Antiboitic Treatment Now.

    As much as I hate doctors they do have that part right: If bacteria, then antibiotic.

    Kevin, you are one of my true heroes. Hearing from you makes me want to hang in there. Come to Hawaii, I’ll suffer VA for a few. But only a few. 😉


    Robert, Simply said: You and I need to meet at the beginning of a day, over coffee. If we chat the entire day, I’ve no doubt it will be a day well spent.

  4. I’m not sure whether the post was on Asterisk or I think it might have been All That Malarkey oh about a year ago… it just read…


    and so on for about 20 lines. I haven’t had one that bad yet but close. Hope the rest of the week goes better for you…

  5. Bad days come and go.
    I once found it useful to look at the “laundry list” towards the end of the book “If you meet the Bhudda in the road kill him”.
    That and walking with a loose jiggling motion.
    What I do know is that I find your blog a source of inspiration and insight.
    You’re doing that right.

  6. I’ve started this post three times, describing three bad days. One was about getting fired, another was about crashing and burning on a very crucial exam, and the third was about the night I knew my marriage of 20 plus years was over. I remember how I felt after each of these events. Each seemed so devastating and all consuming, but each of these “worst case scenarios” brought me to the same realization. I noticed that the world continued to spin on its axis and that I was still pretty much intact. Each time, after allowing sufficient time to shake my fist skyward and rail at the gods, I tried to look at what had happened.

    I think, over the years I’ve learned not to go into “prevent” mode. You know, when you say “I’ll never let this happen again!” You can’t control what will happen, only how you act and react. Each bad day is an opportunity to learn about yourself and others. I got a Chinese Fortune at dinner the other day that said “Failure is feedback, feedback is the breakfast of champions.” And I could have continued through life thinking that was Wheaties.

  7. Molly, we can have a pity party in Austin, and you can call me your hero a couple more times. 8)

  8. Well I had a puncture last night which ended up taking about 2 hours to get home. It was conveniently timed so that all the tyre places were closed so the recovery people brought me home, but once you’re home you’re on your own. I could get a new one if I could get the damn thing off but I can’t, so I’m kinda screwed. Which means I might not be able to see my girlfriend tonight… okay that’s a bit pathetic.

  9. There are bad days and there are bad days.

    It was a bad day when I sent my oldest son off to the Army.

    It was a bad day when I picked up the 2-day old phone message that my grandmother was on life support in the hospital with a 2nd bout of pneumonia.

    It was a bad day when I was 12 and the police came to our door to tell us that my grandfather had been murdered for no reason in LA.

    All of them were bad, some worse. As trite as it may sound, I’m grateful to have had them because I was stretched in some way, forced to face a fact I wanted to avoid, and in the end I grew just a little bit stronger in faith, in optimism, in my approach to life.

    I’m sorry you’ve had a bad day, sorrier still that you’re without sleep. That just makes bad days worse. I’ll say a prayer for some relief and peace for you.

  10. A minor bad day happened the other night when the powerbook I’ve had for 3 weeks (bought secondhand) got a dvd stuck in the superdrive. I’ve tried everything and it isn’t coming out. (I am hoping the vendor is going to sort it out so fingers crossed – if not I’ll start the “Stuey’s new superdrive donation scheme”).

    A real bad day was the day I got assaulted in a train station at night. I was punched in the face so hard one of my front teeth snapped in half.

    When I look back at any bad points in my life I can see that I wouldn’t be where I am now if that bad thing hadn’t happened. Strangely enough I end up feeling almost glad that my life has followed that path.

  11. The worst day in life was the day my mother died, 17 years ago. Whenever I have a bad day I try to remember that this too will pass. Hang in there.

  12. This didn’t happen to me – I tend to not have bad days – or rather, when they do, I pretty much don’t notice them.

    On Friday night, some “kids” (17-20yr olds) pulled into the apartment parking lot that she lives in – and ran into the neighboring apartment complex and broke into some cars, ran back over to the van that they had come in, and as they were pulling out, rammed her brother’s truck. They got the license plate, and called the cops. 3 hours later, they returned, and proceeded to beat the crap out of her mini-van with a baseball bat – knocking out the windshield and the passenger side window. The next night – they returned, and took out the back window of the mini-van, as well as the back side window. Her ex drove it out to the land that they both own (they run kennels together) and she was starting to pack up to move to one of the houses that they have on the land. Turns out, (that same night) the person who used to own the property, got upset or something, and decided to set fire to the whole thing. So everything that was out there went up in flames, all her pictures of her mom and dad (both deceased), her kids baby pictures, clothes, and hair and so forth, as well as the kids clothes, and their BMX uniforms (among other things – her ex lost everything he had as well.) Later that day, they had to put one of their dogs down because he had gotten attacked by a dog that had gotten loose. She isn’t dealing with everything so well right now. The American Red Cross is going to help out with clothes, but could only sort of point her in the direction of possibly getting permanent housing. There is something here called the Victim’s Restitution Fund, but apparently, until they convict the guy who did it, nothing can be done there. They didn’t have insurance on any of the property except the kennels, and the van only had collision insurance. Wish I could figure out how to comfort her more than just being there – I mean I do realize that, that is a lot – but I still wish I could do more.

  13. Breaking up a five year relationship over the phone in San Francisco and being interupted by the hotel clerk stating that they have to cut the line as my credit card was rejected. They billed the $4000 on my personal and not the company card. I had no money, no chance to talk things over with my (then suddenly ex-)girlfriend in Germany.
    When I came back I had to clear my German appartment, moving to London and the heating didn’t work, with -20 degrees outside. Waking up because of the sound of your teeth clattering sucks.
    I was asked by mates to keep some of the furniture as they wanted it and they failed to pick it up, which meant I didn’t get my 1500 euro deposit for the flat back from the landlord – who also was the city’s biggest pimp, so telling him about solicitors only made him chuckle.

    All of this meant one thing though: My first few months in London were one big party as I felt I had nothing to lose. And I have no regrets.

  14. Okay, so we get married and run off to the airport only to have the flight be delayed by 8 hours! and we’re sitting in skimpy summer clothing in the huge freezing air-conditioned airport, tired and with nowhere to lie down but those plastic airport chairs.

  15. Look at the sky 😉

  16. Hi there. Keep in mind that you make us all reading your blog happy. Something to warm your heart with.

    I can tell you a funny story to chear you up. Was looking after my friends cats and the first night I hardly got no sleep at all. My appartment is really tiny so they ran around and jumped on me all night. So I decided to go up to the attic to fetch a door, so they could be in the kitchen and in my hall during next night.

    The door was so heavy that half down the stairs I realised that I was to weak for this project. But I had to take it up again or at least to the next floor. Couldn´t get up again, so I took it to the next floor. I almost falled backwords with the door over me and squeezed my toe really badly.

    So I called up my friends and they came to rescue me. We took down the door to my appartment and got it up after a lot of trubbel. Closed the door – and it was to small!! Laughed in 3 days after.

    The door was for the kitchen and not the living room.

  17. My father once tried to kill my mother. I ran for help and got lucky. I was under 11 years old at the time.

  18. p.s: I hope you get better soon

  19. And yeah, I can’t forget the screams. Sometimes they keep me up at night.

    Sorry about the fragmented post.

  20. I got beaten up by my girlfriend’s husband once.

    Particularly annoying as she’d absent-mindedly forgotten to tell me she was married. I was sitting playing music in the bar where I worked, and this guy came up and smacked me one, saying that it was for f***ing his wife. I explained that I hadn’t been, and thatI had a girlfriend, and look! there she is sitting over there.

    He pointed out that my gf was actually his wife and set about me again. I decided that the truth was so implausible it would enrage him further, so kept quiet and took my beating.

    The next day I left town.

  21. As wise King Solomon said, it is all vanity and vexation of spirit. I remember in my junior year in high school I had let so much weigh me down and I was so depressed and saw no way out. I never considered suicide because I knew how much it would hurt my family and mostly because I feared where my soul would go. One day, a teacher, Mr. MacPherson, noticed my depression and he reached out to me. He interrupted the middle of class and we left the classroom and went to the cafeteria and talked. I am so thankful that someone cared enough to reach out to me that day. Life was so miserable for me and the thoughts of where I would spend the after-life were even worse – what a terrible predicament.
    Molly, we have never met, but I am hoping and praying that I can reach out to you today and give you cause to rejoice and to enjoy life. I know what it is like to be a slave to the bottle – it was my comfort when everyone else had dates at the family get togethers or the company picnic and I was alone. It was my comfort when things went bad. But now I longer need the bottle – I haven’t had a drink in about 12 years and I am happily married with 4 children. Things still don’t always go the way I like, but now they seem more like a speed bump rather than a mountain.
    What will help you Molly is what helped me. It transformed my life. I have a new life because of it. I pray that you will read this completely and really let it sink in.
    This may seem strange at first, but first I need to tell you some bad news. I will get to the good news – but first the bad news because that will make the good news so much more understandable and better. Please read and consider it all.
    I’ve read in some of your previous posts that you have a Jewish background. I assume then that you are familiar with the Ten Commandments. As the book of Proverbs says, most men will proclaim every one his own goodness. Most of us will say that we are pretty good people. Most would even say that we’ve kept most if not all of the Ten Commandments. Let’s look at some of those commandments and see if it is true.
    Commandment 9 says not to bear false witness – or in other words, don’t lie. Have you ever told a lie? It doesn’t matter what color it is – white or black – a lie is still a lie. I have – that makes me a liar.
    Another commandment tells us not to steal. Have you stolen anything? It matters not the value – have you ever taken a pencil, a paper clip, a quarter? I have – that makes me a thief.
    We are told not to murder. Jesus took that even further and said if we hate someone, we’ve committed murder in our heart. Have you ever hated anyone? If you would have went to the Catholic schools I did and had some of those nuns for teachers, you would have quickly learned to hate 😉 I’ve hated and that makes me a murderer at heart.
    We are told not to commit adultery. Jesus took this one a step further too and said that if we look with lust at someone, we’ve committed adultery in our heart. Have you ever lusted after someone? I have.
    So, I admit to being a lying, thieving, adulterous, murderer at heart. What about you? That was only 4 of the 10 commandments. I daresay it we went through all 10, that not a single person reading this could say they’ve kept even a single one.
    If God were to judge you right now according to the 10 Commandments, would you be innocent or guilty? I would be guilty. Just as our court systems have prescribed punishments for transgressions, so does God. We are told the soul that sinneth, it shall die. We are told that all liars will have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone. We are told that no thieves, no murderers, no blasphemers, no idolaters shall inherit the kingdom of God.
    Maybe you think that because of God’s goodness, he will overlook the fact that we’ve broken his law. Maybe you think, well, sure I’ve lied and stolen but that was years ago and I’ve been pretty good since then. Maybe you think that if you ask forgiveness that God will overlook your transgressions. If someone murdered your mother and was not caught for 20 years but then stood before the judge, would you consider the judge good if he let the murderer go free because he said yes he did commit murder 20 years ago but he’s lived a good life since then? What if he went free because he asked for forgiveness? That would not be a very good judge. God is a good judge, a holy judge, a righteous judge.
    So if we are all guilty and the punishment for the guilty is the lake of fire, how do we escape? Well, that was the bad news and now for the good news.
    Proverbs tells us that riches profit not in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivereth from death. Unlike in our court systems, the rich will not be able to buy their way free. The only thing that will deliver us is righteousness. But after going through the 10 Commandments, who can say they are righteous? Certainly not me. We are told that we should be found in him, not having mine own righteousness which is of the law, but that which is through the faith of Christ, the righteousness which is of God by faith. Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to everyone that believeth. Jesus is the Messiah. He came to deliver us from our sins. He lived a perfect life, never sinning, never transgressing the law. Then he was nailed to the cross and while he hung on the cross, darkness came upon the earth for 3 hours and during those 3 hours, God poured out his wrath on Jesus for my sins, for your sins, for the sins of every person. When Jesus was on the cross, he was bearing our sins as it is written, For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him.
    The law demands death for sin. Jesus paid that penalty, that fine, for us. He died in my place. He died in your place. He came to seek and save that which was lost. Jesus said except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish. Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved. You don’t need to say a special prayer to be saved – you don’t need to go through some religious ritual. Just plead guilty and ask for mercy. Believe that you are a sinner deserving Hell according to the law, that Jesus died and paid the penalty for you. Proverbs tells us He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: but whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy. Confess and forsake your sins today Molly. You’ll have peace that passeth all understanding. You’ll have joy unspeakable and full of glory. Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
    That was good news to me Molly. God’s wrath no longer abides on me. I have peace with my creator. I no longer have to cry myself to sleep at night afraid of where I would wake up if I were to die in my sleep.
    I pray that you let it be good news to you.

  22. Well it must be bad news season. I moved to Sydney from Los Angeles for the one that I loved and intended to have a future with. We both promised love and devotion, so leaving work, school, friends and family behind, I followed my heart abroad to Sydney – only to find who I thought to be my soul-mate internet screwing our good friend.

    We work together all day, in the 2nd bedroom we’ve converted as an office. We have the same friends, same routine, same everything and I feel stuck and confused. We hope to work things out but at this point they’re looking rather bleak.

    Wishing you the best Molly and wanted to let you know you are not alone.

  23. One last message from Psalms 30.5 – “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning”

  24. I was sitting at work, back in the day when I was a lowly office gopher, doing my daily stuff. Then my phone rang, it was my mum, she had some news.
    She told me how she had been diagnosed with Leukemia, how there were still options and she could very well get a bone marrow transplant from her twin sister.
    The rest of the day was a blur.
    I still miss her.
    But you pick yourself up, dust yourself off and stick two fingers up (well if you’re English I guess it’s one for everyone else) to the universe and any feelings of despair then carry on going.

    Have a drink, but not too many. 😉

  25. Gosh Molly, makes me want to jump on a plane with all of the people who absolutely adore you and fly to where you are (which I think is Hawaii)…and go out to the beach and watch the sun set and surround you with physical evidence of the love that we all feel for you.

    You are wise to ask for others to tell you about their heartbreaks. It helps put pain in perspective…but know this…your heartbreak is real. Honor it.

    Rather than tell you about the lowest point in my life here…I’ll share a few lines from a poem that helped me heal.

    “To Heal Again: Towards Serenity and the Resolution of Grief” by Rusty Berkus

    You sit in the shadow of sorrow
    seeking, searching
    for the magic that will make the pain go away

    Weep what you must weep,
    not only for this loss,
    but for all other losses
    you have sustained in this life

    This winter of your life
    will pass,
    as all seasons do

    Stay in your season of Winterness
    as long as need be
    for everything you feel
    is appropriate

    There is no right way
    to grieve –
    there is just your way

    It will take as long as it takes

    It is important
    to be ever so gentle,
    kind, loving and giving
    to yourself right now

    (end of quote)


  26. Molly,

    Thank you for those kind words!
    Let’s make sure it happens, and for now, take care!

  27. Well, since you said, “Tell me anything” I think I will tell you not to waste your trials and tribulations. We have them for good reason. Don’t give too much of your time, or thoughts, to sorrow. And remember, a little perspective can go a long way when we can’t see past our own thoughts and feelings. Take care.

  28. Molly, someone told me once that by time you get to worrying about something, it’s usually too late to do anything about it. So, don’t let it get you down – just move on. That advice has stuck with me for life. Bobby summed it up nicely…

  29. THE TRIP

    Nasrudin’s friend Wali slipped and fell from the immense height of the Post Office Tower in London.

    The following night, Nasrudin dreamt that he was visiting Heaven when he ran across Wali.

    ‘What was it like, Wali?’

    ‘The impact was terrible, but the trip — the trip was terrific!’

    (From The Subtleties of the Inimitable Mulla Nasrudin by Idries Shah)

    Tip one to the trip.

  30. Hi Molly,

    Here is a song that I have found to be encouraging when going through times of suffering. I hope it helps give you hope.


    “Beauty from Pain”

    The lights go out all around me
    One last candle to keep out the night
    And then the darkness surrounds me
    I know I’m alive
    But I feel like I’ve died

    And all that’s left is to accept that it’s over
    My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
    I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
    I feel like I’m slipping away

    After all this has passed
    I still will remain
    After I’ve cried my last
    There’ll be beauty from pain
    Though it won’t be today
    Someday I’ll hope again
    And there’ll be beauty from pain
    You will bring beauty from my pain

    My whole world is the pain inside me
    The best I can do is just get through the day
    When life before is only a memory
    I wonder why God let me walk through this place


    And though I can’t understand why this happened
    I know that I will when I look back someday
    And see how You’ve brought beauty from ashes
    And made me as gold purified through these flames

    Here and I am at the end of me (at the end of me)
    Trying to hold to what I can’t see
    I forgot how to hope
    This night’s been so long
    I cling to your promise there will be a dawn


  31. I don´t know but I feel for you.
    Get a doublesidecar and listen to some good music.

    should you find yourself in Stockholm, Sweden tonite I´ll be dj´ing at Adesso.
    Nothing fancy but I promise a great variety ranging from Slim Harpo to Sufjan Stevens.

  32. oops. I don´t know but I feel for you should´ve been I don´t know you but I feel for you. And that´s because I follow your journal.

    Pardon the crappy grammar.

  33. Ironic as my day started out really frustrating — been frustrating past couple days — maybe a stream of bad karma is hitting us.

    Just breathe, go out by yourself, walk around, just enjoy the outside (if it’s nice out), watch the sunset and know that somewhere in the future, there will be a day diametrically opposed to this one that will be amazing.

    Also, they say laughter is the best medicine, and it is one of the best, so amuse yourself. Maybe try the “[your name] needs” meme in Google (I did that in my last blog entry), or try other phrases in Google — non-stop fun…

    Wishing good karma your way 🙂

  34. The great and happy days will mean nothing to you if you haven’t experienced those moments that are awful and sad.

    There are the deaths and the births, the split-ups and the get-togethers, the lonely days and the social days – in short the bad days and the good days.

    Learn from them all.

  35. I don’t know which island you are on, if it’s Kauai, you are already in one of the most beautiful places on earth. As they say in Hawaii, you are Malu lani (protected by heaven)!

    (After being in the countryside of China and seeing the living conditions, I decided we (my hubby and I) don’t HAVE bad days…)

  36. Molly – Hold on. Just hold on. And keep repeating that this too shall pass. It will. And while you are holding on, remember all of us who love you and are always ready to do what we can.
    Sending you one very big and very long hug,

  37. Molly – I have no reason to reply; we don’t know each one another other than by reading your (wonderful) blog. When one reads a post like that though…

    I won’t offer you bad days; rather the good. Rememberance of the so sharp blue skies on a crisp winters day; the moments when you forget everything but how to laugh. And a reminder that they are what life is and everything else is just to remind us how precious they are when they come again. As others have said, this too shall pass.

  38. Molly…
    Be thankful that you have an unusual name.

  39. Molly, I hate it when Bad Things Happen To Good People.

    It sucks. I have worried in the last six months that the sun might never ever shine again for me. I have had moments where, like an addict, I have had to sit down and convince myself not to not do anything, but just to not do anything today.

    In the last year, I’ve lost my two favorite writers of the last thirty years, one to suicide. I’ve lost my father ( I’ve lost my best friend and I have spent the last three years worrying that I was about to lose my job. A few years ago I was in a horrible accident and lost the memory of a whole weekend. Years ago, we both lost our jobs on GEnie and on MSN. We’ve both had publishers and deals evaporate under us. My first wife had some other man’s son, and left me with the bills. When I was a kid, my dog died. A lifetime can be defined by Bad Days. But I’d rather not, huh?

    I think it’s cruel that so much in our culture depends upon a Happy Ending. We somehow think that “if only” this or “if only” that, then we’ll live Happily Ever After. There’s no room there for Pinochio to get testicular cancer. Nothing in our myths prepares us for the idea that all Elvis wanted was to be able to leave Graceland and get a sammich. Then again, if Life really is about suffering, then why would we need that polluting our literature and movies? I dunno.

    I have found a great deal of comfort in three things, and I hope maybe you can, too.

    [ 1 ] If I hadn’t traveled the exact road I have traveled, some huge percentage of my life would be wildly different, now. Suffering is constant, but the individual troubles seem to end, punctuated by the little goodnesses along the way. If my wife hadn’t left, I’d doubt that I would have ever joined GEnie, or met you. If GEnie hadn’t folded, I would never have had the time to spend on WebStuff, and so on.

    [ 2 ] When I feel the worst, it’s good sometimes to remember step out of myself for a while. You’ve heard the expression that if we all knew one another’s troubles, we wouldn’t exchange them one for another, we’d gladly accept our own back (doubtless said much better than that)? If all you think about for a day is how crappy everything is, then all you’ve thought about for a day is how crappy everything is. Get out, away from “yourself” for an afternoon. See if you can help someone. Anyone. Not just someone who can’t get their DIV’s to balance, but maybe an older neighbor, or a young couple in your neighborhood, or a friend you haven’t connected with in years who keeps inviting you to come out and look at the cows. Remember that this is someone’s BEST DAY EVER, too. After my dad died, I went to the maternity ward. I’d just seen someone leave. I had to see the other side, too, all of the new little people coming into the world.

    [ 3 ] Remember that there are people out there who depend upon you, in ways large and small. The sacker you flirt with at the grocery store. The gal at the bookstore. You generate a lot of light in this world, kid. A great many of us have come to look forward to the part of the day when Molly goes off on some politician, or some new music, or on why it’s so hard to keep all of your software working and playing together, or whatever it is. We look forward to your next book. We like being able to connect with others through the work you’ve done (“I read that in Molly’s book on…”) and are doing and are making a difference with. It would really suck if one day we click here and get ‘404’d, dear.

    The wheel turns. The sun comes up again. It’s left to us to decide what to do with each new day. I hope you’ll feel better, soon.

  40. Oh Molly… Just about the time you were writing this last night, I was choking. Literally. On a french fry.

    My husband and I had just had a big fight during dinner over absolutely nothing, and all of the sudden I couldn’t breathe and this crazy wheezing sound was all I could make. He had to give me the Heimlich Maneuver three times before I could breathe again.

    I was up all night due to all the adrenaline my body dumped into my system, thinking about what a waste it would have been to go that way– choking on a french fry, for pete’s sake, and not appreciating the good in what was around me at the time.

    I hope you feel better.

  41. Molly,

    I don’t think I have ever commented here, but I do visit and read your blog all the time.

    I’m sorry to hear of your troubles and I wish I could do more than tell you of my worst day. I feel for you, and I really hope things pick up for you in the near future.

    My worst day was when I was 18, I was at band practice with my friends when I got a phonecall from a friend I hadn’t heard from in several years. I thought this was strange and asked what was happening. He didn’t say what was wrong, but said that I should come home right away.

    When I got home, my Mum was standing in the doorway crying harder than I’d ever seen her cry before. She tried to tell me what was happening, but couldn’t speak. My old friend informed me that my eldest brother had committed suicide by shooting himself. He was 23. (Incidentally, my 23rd birthday was my 2nd worst day ever).

    I will never forget that day as long as I live, and because of that trauma I don’t look on life as I did before. I certainly have more love and respect for those around me, and actively engage any of my family and friends who are down or unhappy.

    +1 love and respect for you Molly.

    Take care;

  42. Firstly, *lots of hugs*

    Secondly, since you asked for it, here’s a bad day story.

    I had a particularly bad day last year. Not sure if I told you about it at the time. My research project wasn’t going particularly well. My RSI was playing up so I was in a lot of pain and not getting a lot done.

    Then my grandfather died. I was terribly close to him — he was the one who believed in me no matter what. His theory was “one goes up every generation”. He decided that I was the one for my generation in my family, despite my not being the oldest or male. Very unusual in both his home society and that I grew up in.

    I was all set to go out to South Africa for his funeral, to try and say goodbye properly … and then I was diagnosed with Mumps.

    4 weeks quarantined, unable to work, read or even watch TV half the time. It wasn’t a good day.

    Hang in there, hon. It will stop hurting and it will get better again. One way or another. It won’t hurt forever, it won’t be numb forever. It’ll get better. It’ll just take time.

    All our love, from across the oceans.

  43. Pingback: odd time signatures » Bad Days Suck

  44. I heard a story recently where God gathered into a circle a bunch of people who had troubles. He made a deal with them that they can all put their troubles into a big pile in the middle and then take out any trouble they find. In the end, everyone took their own trouble back.

  45. Pingback: Robert’s talk » Being in a good mood

  46. Pingback: Robert’s talk » Being in a good mood

  47. Molly, thanks for speaking up, for crying out for help. Don’t ever feel that there’s noone you can talk to or turn to for help. Just read back through those comments and remember everyone that cares about you, that you are loved and valued, and that you are infinitely valuable.

  48. I’m behind in my reading, so am sending you good thoughts now and hope you’re feeling a little better.

  49. Hang in there… we’re all with you!

  50. Day before I attended Web Design World in San Francisco; my best friend of 20 years (he was then 37) had the unfortunate happenstance of a clot at the stem of his brain, died in 24hours. Crushed my spirit for the excellent time I should have had listening to Molly, Doug Bowman and others. It also took away the best friend I shall ever have.

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